Crow Combat Cruises
Jammer, Mara, and Spud tried to steal some thunder from the Billhook fighting pit by recruiting their top fighters for . . . GHOST FIGHTING COMBAT SPORTS!
And in the process of looking for battle-ready ghosts, they hit upon a group of supernatural doctors called Crows (affiliated with the Dimmer Sisters AND the Black Knights). With the blessing of Casta’s parents Mikh and Sam and some convincing forgery, CROW COMBAT CRUISES WAS BORN!!!
Now, was the launch flawless? No. Did Jammer and Spud steal Arlene Dunleavy’s (widow to Winslow) steamship to host Crow Combat Cruises? Sure. Did the Crows then murder the pursuing Bluecoats and Billhooks (who had gone after the stolen ship as de-facto Dock rulers) before turning on our heroes? Absolutely. Did this all end with the gang sorta-befriending these Crows and getting away with their lives by giving the barge to the Dimmer Sisters (all while assuring the Crows that they would be regularly sent victims to be dissected)? Oh yes indeed.
But did Mara stumble upon the idea of GHOST TELEVISION???
DID JAMMER MAKE A CROW FRIEND NAMED FRIEDRICH???
MIGHT SPUD BE TURNING INTO A CROW????
Hell. YES.
Some additions:
- The Crows were reluctantly promised to us by Mikh & Sam based on our allegations that we could contain them, that being said, they were not at all helpful in us actually dealing with said Crows. Part of this is likely our fault by sailing directly into the Ghost Quarter and tossing body parts into the water as a strategy…
- Mikh & Sam were staying with the Dimmer Sisters. They were also snobs, so why they picked a sewer is a bit confusing lol.
- Mara forged a document that said we were certified in Crow containment, which made Mikh & Sam very suspicious of where we could have gotten such a thing in this day & age & place.
- Jammer defeated a Crow (temporarily, we put it back) by pulling its heart out of its chest.
- Jammer then swallowed said heart, which led to the temporary possession by Friedrich the Crow, but this was the only way we managed to actually communicate with a Crow.
- Friedrich told us that he and the rest had been Crowified in some ungodly long ago time to fight for the Immortal Emperor under a different (original?) name, The Cinder King.
- Friedrich specifically requested that we agree that profits from Ghost Fight Club be tithed to the Emperor.. we agreed but the Dimmer Sisters took full control of GFC so i guess that is now their problem!
- How exactly the Crows are involved with 7th Tower and the Hat Man is unclear, but there seems to be some sort of tie between all these parties though based on their willingness to join GFC, not a perfect allyship. Ditto the Dimmer Sisters & Mikh & Sam.
Observation Decks
The good steamship Winslow bobs in the Void Sea off the Lost District. From a distance, with the right magnification, the occasionally skittering silhouette of a plague-masked Crow can be seen scuttling across the deck.
From a wrecked rooftop within the Lost District, Mikh and Sam sit on a picnic blanket and watch.
(The ghosts don’t trouble them, for they know better)
”Shame they didn’t actually have a way to contain the Crows,” remarks Sam as she munches on a dried mushroom, ”That fighting league sounded kinda kickass.”
”Eh, I dunno. They ain’t exactly spectacle fighters. How many times can ya watch a Crow pull a liver outta someone before it stops bein’ special?”
”Well, we’ve watched ‘em work for centuries. Don’t think we’re the target audience.”
”Huh! Yeah. Good point. Ah well . . .”
From their observation blind at a Docks tenement, Nat and Chuck squint out with binoculars.
”You thinking what I’m thinking, Nat?”
”Wellllll . . . Crazy scheme to fight something dangerous, vehicular theft, lotta talking shit . . . It MIGHT not be her, but-“
”Nat . . . Come on. It’s her.”
”. . . Yeah. Shit.”
The two pause and look at each other warily. After a moment, Nat extends her pinky towards Chuck.
”Accountability, right? Neither one of us tries to get back with her.”
Chuck extends his pinky and wraps it around Nat’s.
”Totally! We’ve grown!”
”MATURED, even!”
”We don’t need her!”
”Damn right we don’t! Look at us, being mature about this!”
(Both are, at this very moment, plotting how to get back with their mutual ex).
From a rooftop in Brightstone, the Spider watches.
”Hrrrn . . .”
She pulls out a small glowing device and speaks into it.
”Crows possess some kind of partial intangibility. Able to traverse the Void Sea on foot. Omnimorphic physiology. Will need a sample . . .”
She considers the scene before her a bit longer, and then finishes:
”Assessment of subject, alias ‘Mara’, remains inconclusive.”
From a warehouse at the Docks, the Horned One watches. An idea begins to take root in its mind as it contemplates the loose ship.
From the derelict Claddage manor, Scurlock shakes his head in wonder.
”I will live an eternity and never fully understand them,” he remarks to his companion, ”But I suppose that’s part of the- are you all right?”
Next to him, Casta has gone sheet white, and then begins to flush. The telescope nearly drops from her hand.
” . . Uh, yeah. Thought I saw my . . . Fuck.”
Scurlock notes the sudden rush of emotion to his bodyguard’s face and decides to say nothing.
Beneath the surface of Duskwall, the temple of the Dimmer Sisters is awash with light. An orb shows the Winslow and its gruesome cargo.
Boris Volkov harrumphs after a few moments of looking.
”Fuck me, I think I know that guy . . .”
Stein Scotter stares longingly at the Winslow. He doesn’t know why, but the words of a fan after a bar fight have lit something inside him. The fight pits are burdens now, jobs instead of joys. There is no further violent delight to be found in the land-locked squared circles of the V-Sea-W.
Perhaps . . . Perhaps he SHOULD give Crow Combat Cruises a shot . . .
Coda
”. . . And that’s the last I saw of them . . . And now my damn SHIP is in the damn HARBOR and it’s covered in DEMONS and . . .”
“I understand, Mrs. Dunleavy. This must have been absolutely heartbreaking for you.”
“I’m sorry to come to you. I know you’re busy. It’s just . . . You and my husband were so close . . .”
“We were. Will you give me a moment to confer with my associates?”
<Sound of a HELLACIOUS bong rip. The stuff in that bong is to weed what the Atlantic Ocean is to a puddle.>
“What say you, gents?”
“Well, friend Veldren, it is said that you must dig two graves when embarking upon a mission of vengeance. For Dunleavy, let us dig two dozen!”
“Thank you, Bonky Bill. And you?”
“It is as I have said many a time before, Veldren: I come not to bring peace, but a sword, and guns, and weaponized drugs, and-“
“Fuck yes, Jesus. Mrs. Dunleavy . . . we’re on the case.”