Didn’t-Make-It-Out Mine
The Namelesss are called upon by Irag, the flayed Black Knight who serves as general to Render. His mission is simple.
“I am told you broke Seventh Tower in Duskwall. I seek the man Joseph Woodward, and any assassins he might have employed. I would find the tinkerers that built his blasphemous weapons, which were used to slay the Chosen of the Immortal Emperor. I would have them brought before me. I would know how they learned to make these weapons, and how far the knowledge has spread.”
Session Recap
At Irag’s request, the Nameless sought to GET TO THE BOTTOM of the murder of Breaker, Chosen of the Immortal Emperor! They were gonna get some VIGILANTE JUSTICE done and CATCH THE REAL KILLERS.
. . . Didn’t the Nameless murder Breaker?
No, shut up. If you read the carefully-prepared and definitely-not-tampered-with evidence, you will find that it was Joseph Woodward employing a shell company to make electroplasmic weaponry!
Okay but that whole narrative only exists on paper. Render wants bodies. How do you get around that?
Simplicity itself!
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Frame the Spider and the Clockmaker as the power behind the shell company, using a (tampered) receipt.
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Sizzle and Cruncho play patsy/insider Nameless, who are just doing their best to help Render catch these assassins. And wouldn’t you know it, they have hunted down A CHOSEN-KILLING WEAPON (really a convincing Arkin/Cruncho fake), which was going to one of
threetwo mysteeeeerious labs! The game is afoot! -
Arrive at lab one, which Linmer has rigged to EXPLODE IMMEDIATELY! None of the six Black Knights nor dozen Crows dispatched die, but Sizzle and Cruncho take the burn and “prove” their loyalty. On to the second location!
This doesn’t seem like it’s simplicity itself . . .
That’s what Maurice Wilkes said in 1951, BUT NOW WE HAVE MICROPROCESSORS SO CHECKMATE MFER. Anyway . . .
Okay, sheesh. Second location?
Yes, the SECOND location! An agreed upon ambush point between the Nameless, the Spider (who wants to just murder as many of the Emperor’s servants as possible), the Horned One (who wants to get their buddies out of the stone prison under the waves AND murder as many of the Emperor’s servants as possible)! Located in the ruins of Skydagger Keep (read Band of Blades), where the Immortal Emperor crushed the final legion of his foes (and whose ghosts have been haunting Duskwall and primed for just this situation)!
ALSO the location of Makeout Mine, now a thriving spot for teenagers to make their first fumbling attempts at mutually dealing with their rampant hormones.
Wait wait wait, so this ambush was going to happen amidst a bunch of teens making out?
It MIGHT have, but Linmer and Orianna heroically harshed the vibe! When Render’s forces arrived (with Sizzle and Cruncho in tow), the two grown adults were getting beaten up by angry teens, who fled upon seeing the fuzz arrive.
Okay, so how did the actual ambush happen?
All the fuck over the place! Kind of a lot happened in a short period of time. First, Irag was alerted to the fact that Linmer was not a normal old man getting beaten up by teens, which caused Arkin to activate Mousewing the Fighting Robit. THEN the damn Legion ghosts started rallying. This caused Irag to split his forces, sending all but six of the Crows into the mine and leaving the rest to rip apart Linmer and Mousewing. At the cost of a ripped-apart Mousewing, a well-placed ricocheting bullet from Sizzle, and an ear, Linmer was able to get away.
As the rest of Render’s forces charged into the tunnel, they found themselves boxed in by ambushing ghost soldiers, the Spider, the Horned One, and Orianna’s management of these. The Spider and the Horned One took out Irag, and the Nameless kept the other forces occupied . . .
And then, at the right moment, they hit a combo attack! Orianna gave herself over to Vazara’s power (don’t worry, she’s . . . fine*)! Arkin collapsed the mine with planted explosives and spirit-bottled the surviving ghost Legionaries! Fleeing Black Knights and Crows found themselves entrapped by ghost emotions and sticky traps, courtesy of Linmer. MAKEOUT MINE EXPLODED AND COLLAPSED.
* She is NOT FINE.
Damn, okay. So, were there any survivors? What’s the, ah, resolution here?
Well, 5 Crows made it out. Also, HEROICALLY INNOCENT Sizzle and Cruncho, who had NEARLY GIVEN THEIR LIVES TO TRACK DOWN THE FIENDISH SPIDER, staggered into Render’s headquarters beneath the sewers and reported all that had happened. With the Crows corroborating, Render now trusts the Nameless AND believes the Spider to be Breaker’s murderer, and will begin hunting her henceforth.
Okay, I thiiiink I get it? As long as there’s no other complicating detail-
SUCK MY ASS, NERD! The Horned One agreed to help the Nameless ONLY IF the other avatars of the old gods are freed from their prison beneath the waves (see #casta-explains-it-all , it’s a whole thing). Like, immediately. Like, IMMEDIATELY immediately. Like, NEXT-BUT-ONE SESSION immediately.
. . . have you ever felt like this overarching plot has gotten away from you a bit?
fuck yes I’m so fucking tired