Act VII: Best Laid Plans
In which the Nameless prepare for Render’s arrival with a masterful frame job, arson-based real estate acquisition, and believing in the power of love.
Snakes on a Frame
The Nameless have successfully framed Joseph Woodward aka the Man in the Hat for . . . the MURDER of BREAKER!
This was accomplished by planting an “If I Did It”-style journal (immaculately forged, thanks to a group crit), map to the stone prison beneath the waves, and invoices to a fake shell company that supposedly produced large-scale electroplasmic weapons if you look at their records, which you really should because they definitely exist. Police attention was brought to this whole shenanigan setup, and future investigations will find corroborating evidence (or SUSPICIOUS LACK THEREOF) in evidence lockup, which was ABSOLUTELY NOT TAMPERED WITH.
Books’s police lockup tampering was hindered/enabled/hindered again by a rogue Blighter attack. Blighters have been pulling some low-rent supervillain shit across Duskwall for the past few days. Lotta cop bodies hit the floor (and were then reanimated with 15-foot demonic snakes) on this one, but that’s NOT YOUR FAULT.
Sandro was briefly contacted by the disembodied semi-spirit of Seventh Tower Corporation, which proclaimed itself “a body without a head” and is apparently searching for a new leader. At another point, Joseph Woodward numbly proclaimed himself “a decapitated head”. This arcane chicanery was apparently enabled by some strange arcane . . . documents? that Sandro discovered and then promptly stashed at Deckherd Hall mid-heist.
Sizzle discovered that Studebaker Spud had a secret armory of (quality) guns and a weirdly horny black-and-red armored body suit in a secret compartment behind his office wall. She took the guns, but left the body suit.
Likely consequences:
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Studebaker Spud is probably going away for a minute.
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Nat Marseilles’ investigatory efforts towards y’all will be misdirected by this compelling new tack.
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This was not a one-and-done: Joseph Woodward is now considered to be the tip of an iceberg by the investigating Inspectors.
Books’s Safety Tip: Even white-collar jobs aren’t immune to the occasional super-science-motivated body-cannibalizing Serpentes attack, so don’t forget a spritz of your lucibufagin-laced perfume to both deter reptiles & impress your coworkers.
Too Many Cooks, LLC
The Nameless wanted Deckherd Hall to be the home of the reopened V-Sea-W! The problem is, Deckherd Hall was tied up in the police investigations into the whole-ass Seventh Tower thing (including the discovery that it had been fraudulently acquired in the first place).
There being no immediate living heir to the Deckherd name, the hall was set to go up for auction upon the conclusion of the investigation.
But WHO else wanted Deckherd Hall, WHY did they want it, and HOW did the Nameless suborn them?
WHO #1: Borgin Karhowl, Mysterious Heir aka Victoria Karhowl, ancient-tinkerer-inhabiting-the-body-of-Cole-Ardmore. Bodyguarded by Casta, who was having a great deal of fun with it.
WHY #1: Big-ass workshop for the production of freaky machines, likely including multiple Lugos-esque robots.
HOW #1: After a hefty redesign, the Nameless secured an agreement to give her a basement workshop within Deckherd Hall.
WHO #2: The Spirit Wardens.
WHY #2: To have an outpost that could double as a potential meeting point between themselves, the Dimmer Sisters, the Black Knights, the Crows, etc.
HOW #2: After an ill-advised Linmer offer and ANOTHER hefty redesign, the Nameless fit in a series of fake walls and passages within Deckherd Hall that would allow the Spirit Wardens discreet access to the Dimmer Sisters et al.
WHO #3: The Bowery Beehive, being a shell corporation for the notorious mercantile syndicate known as the Hive.
WHY #3: The Hive was going to turn Deckherd Hall into a boutique high-end shopping mall, following Seventh Tower’s basic blueprint.
HOW #3: Sandro, Arvin, and Sizzle reminded the Hive what happened to Seventh Tower. The Hive has decided to build their mall at the former Palisade Avenue site, reasoning (correctly) that fixing that demolition area would be cheaper than taking on the Nameless.
WHO #4: Lady Anastasia Bowmore, and (to a lesser extent) Lord Stuart Bowmore
WHY #4: Lady Bowmore wanted to tear down Deckherd Hall and turn it into a memorial topiary garden, civic meeting hall, and general monument to the dead Lady Cassandra Bowmore. Lord Stuart Bowmore wanted Deckherd Hall for some other purpose, likely in the name of furthering his and Anastasia’s struggle for the Bowmore legacy.
HOW #4: This one’s complicated. There were assassination plots, kompromat plots, planted bombs, unintentional arson, and a drug-fueled Monotheism (the TCG sweeping the salons of the elite) duel. The long and the short of it is:
Lady Anastasia Bowmore was brought on board with the promise of a rooftop topiary garden, reflecting pool, and ten-foot statue* of Lady Cassandra Bowmore.
Lord Stuart Bowmore died of an overdose after scraping a win against Sandro, using his Golden Tablets/Joseph Smith Mormon deck.
The assassin Prudence (sister to Mercy, Charity, and Grace) attempted to assassinate Lord Bowmore but was convinced by Sizzle to take the W and leave after Sandro caused the man to commit suicide by drug-fueled Monotheism game.
Linmer foiled a Clockmaker-built bomb under Lady Bowmore’s bed in the process of investigating her plans.
The Wraiths were convinced by Arkin to abandon their kompromat plot and leave the Nameless to it, in exchange for a secret backroom lair within Deckherd Hall (a LESS HEFTY redesign).
Also, the Bowmores have a new chef named Beppo. Arvin has framed this man as a drunkard. This is probably fine.
*Due to some incidental Arvin arson, the Bowmore Estate was significantly damaged. As such, the planned memorial gardens, civic meeting hall, and twenty-foot statue had to be scaled back a bit.
Books’s Safety Tip:
If you wish to kill Moses in order to trap the Israelites in Nauvoo, Illinois: prioritize translating the Golden Tablets before the Angel of Death pushes Joseph Smith out his bedroom window, thereby avoiding both a supra-LD50 of proprietary noblesse psychogenic dueling venom & inadvertently killing several professional athletes in the process.
Valentine-Sea-Wrestling
DuskViolence II: Super Omega MAX Ultra Supreme Vortex went off with plenty of hassle, a lot of romantic catharsis, and several near-supernatural disasters that have . . . actually kind of resolved themselves? Sorta? Kinda?
- Casta has flipped back to the Nameless by the power of l-word and is about to explain everything she knows about the meta-plot
- Katya x Casta, Jammer x Friedrich the Crow, and Sizzle x Val have all made important steps in their various relationships by making up (un)healthily, identifying the importance of boundaries and emotional labor via dismemberment, and identifying that one has a crush on the other.
- The Spider nearly got her ass beat by the Black Knights, but with the intercession of
Arkinthe robot wrestler Mousewing managed to beat their asses instead. Her final words to Sam and Mikh were to tell Render that she was coming for him. - Linmer has learned that the Spider’s possession of his blood gives her SOME kind of ability to track him. ALSO, he has learned that the Spider and the Clockmaker are all actively anti-Emperor and anti-Empire, and seek to personally bring down and destroy the Immortal Emperor.
- Scurlock, after failing to use Casta as a distraction, tried and failed to steal Boris’s mysterious box. Thanks to dismemberment, small arms fire, and Linmer’s Sticky Stuff, Scurlock is now imprisoned in Boris’ box.
- Void Sea Wrestling is FUCKIN’ BACK, SON. Rock “The John” Dwayneson is BACK! The Shmeek is BACK. RED HOT DAN HOUSTON ALMOST DIED OF A HEART ATTACK BUT THEN DID NOT.
- Cactus Joe is happy slinging shitty beer cocktails at the Chant and Coven bar in Nightmarket
- Viktoria Karhowl has build “Ludo”, a small trashcan-sized bot who can unfold into an electrified murder jellyfish.
- Arkin has earned Viktoria’s respect.
- Jammer has made a name for herself by destroying Ludo in a way that was both kickass and also perfectly encapsulated the Valentine’s Day Spirit
- Books nearly precipitated the murder of Veldren but then managed to fob it off to a random old man who was watching the show.
- Sizzle has a perfect understanding of the Casta/Sam/Mikh family dynamic
- Linmer has, by virtue of applying the right kind of Bloodneedle at the right time, “fixed” the Shmeek/brought him back to his version of normal
- Jammer’s S.O. recognized Scurlock and referred to him as “that traitorous HAG”. Jammer is one of the few Nameless who can reliably speak to Crows due to a succession of Mistakes
Casta Explains It All
Casta has flipped back to the Nameless by the power of L-word and explains everything she knows about the meta-plot.
To make a long story short, the gang has been semi-accidentally set up to be the inciting parties for a theistic rebellion against the Immortal Emperor. They have the blood of one of his Chosen on their hands, and are already a collection of rebels, misfits, ne’er-do-wells, and cultists. The Namelesss will soon need to decide if they want to work very hard to cover this up, or lean into trying to topple the Emperor.
[Technically this is a roleplay thread on the Discord rather than a play session, but the info is still very important & should be citable!!]
Patriotic Hanky-Panky
The Cult of Vazara’s basement temple was controlled-detonated and disguised as a patriotic BDSM dungeon by Arkin and Cruncho (despite Veldren’s attempts at stopping the gang with drugging and hallucinogens).
Nat Marseilles and her Spirit Warden/SWAT team task force was delayed in finding the dungeon due to Caleb Hollow (poorly) pickpocketing orphans (moderately successfully) and Dr. Ykaterina Volkova, respected academic and weapons nerd (quite successfully indeed). A kitchen grease fire also helped!
ELSEWHERE
Sandro and Sizzle plotted to frame Morgan Clelland (your ex-contact and current cop) and the Clelland family as the REAL treasonous Vazara-worshippers. Disguised in Clelland raiment and bearing “mom’s spaghetti” (secretly haunted brain soup), the two found Morgan Clelland passed out at his desk, being menaced by a burned, scarred, but still living Chuck Morgenstern!
Chuck was, weirdly, pretty cool with the two Nameless setting up Clelland for death and ignominy! I mean, sure, he’s a dirty cop, and SURE, Sizzle agreed to assassinate Chuck’s family after the three bonded over their dysfunctional families, but . . . Still weird.
REGARDLESS, the two managed to brilliantly combo Sizzle’s special ammo and the ghost soup to create a vampire! This vampire was set up with various Vazaran accoutrements, Inception’d into an unsuccessful arcane attempt against Nat Marseilles, and subsequently framed by Sandro’s innocent-sounding “statement”. Forget the Pendryns (who were able to keep up the deception thanks to some speech coaching by the Nameless and an IRL Imperial kinky bedroom life), the CLELLANDS are the real traitors!
And so, of course, Render flayed and crucified Lord Clelland the next day.
It’ll take some time, but they’ll soon figure out that Clelland didn’t know anything real. After that, the hunt will begin anew, and Render will search out more substantial traitors.
Other quick hits:
-The Nameless nearly lost face with the Six Towers citizenry over their misuse of the orphans, but have brought it back around by investing in orphan rapscallion education.
-The servant informant that ratted on the Pendryns turned out to be a sous-chef and former disciple of François! Before being boiled alive in soup, he proclaimed that he was attempting to stop the prophecy of the Quiznos Sandwichman! The Quiznos Sandwichman, who will emerge in the Pendryn home and change the culinary landscape as we know it! Even the vampire-in-Clelland version of this sous-chef was obsessed with the idea of the Quiznos Sandwichman (aka the GrillSan al’ GrubEat), and only agreed to take on the arcane implements of Vazara upon being led to believe that Nat Marseilles was an ally of the Quiznos Sandwichman.
-Though we now know that the Pendryns have a healthy sex life, we don’t know if they are in looooove.